Bugsy Siegl in an Overcoat

I had one tube of feline Revolution left today, and I just put it on a very large male tom, who has enough ticks to start his own blood bank. I'm not sure if he has mites, but if he has ticks, I know he has fleas. He's also got something that looks like marbles on his side and it pains him to be picked up. Yes, I picked him up. No, don't try this at home. It's generally a good way to need to go to the blood bank yourself. In this case, he's ill enough that he let me, and hurt enough that the neighbors may think I'm sacrificing a pig.

He's an interesting fellow. He's got a long scratch across his face, and enough old  - and new - wounds that I'm sure he's been fighting in the streets for quite awhile. He's pompous and charismatic, and reminds me Bugsy Siegel. He's probably just as crazy. I feel the need to add that he also appears to be dyslexic, and I know this because he mixed his water (which was in frame, so it was impressive) with his clay litter and made mortar, in which he promptly bathed. I had to explain to him that the mobster gives the cement overcoat to some OTHER unsuspecting sucker to take a bath in. And this is why I lifted him: to change the whole bottom of the cage, and to wipe the mortar off of him. He attempted to explain to me that I was not going to wipe him off. I showed him that I had a can of Fancy Feast, and all of a sudden, he was willing to compromise. I was able to get his face, his right side, and his tail while he ate. He then told me that I was not going to wash the left side, and I agreed with him. I got the worst of it - he can do the rest himself. Or he can leave it there. Who am I to argue with a cat who has paws big enough to carry a Tommy gun?

The real question remains, what to do. He's ill, and it's probably something serious. He is presently in a cat tower that I reserve for cats who need to stay together, kittens or long term patients.  He may be a long term patient. I scheduled a surgery with Dr. Beichel at CASPCA this morning to go ahead and get him neutered on Friday, and I'm hoping that she'll be able to check him over while he's under and therefore not able to take out her eyes with his very filthy and somewhat misshapen claws. Or his Tommy gun. Whichever.

Right now, my border collie, Bristol, is sitting beside the cage, and he seems amiable to her presence. She has an interesting way with feral cats, when she's not trying to herd them or steal their food. They often tend to be tolerant of her desire to spend time with them. In this case, I have no idea what they're chatting about, but if she starts wearing a Fedora or toting a violin case, I'll have a good idea.